We bought Max and Zoe smartphones in June. This was a big deal for us. The plan was to wait until Max started high school. But we caved. An obvious bribe—compensation for the chaos that followed.

Of course, the phones are incredibly useful—especially for translation and texting. Maps are a lifesaver too. I can see when they’re at school, at home, or on a tram.

The current map looks like this:

The lower icon shows Max at school. The grumpy cat icon, about 40 km north, is Zoe. She’s on a three-day trip with her classmates and teachers, staying at a small camp called Funiversum. I know it’s small because I drove there—needlessly—and then drove back alone.

The backstory on my wasted trip started when Zoe’s grumpy cat icon popped up on my iPhone. She texted, complaining about being uncomfortable at the camp and asking to come home. Alison and I debated it but decided I should go. She had a bad cold and hadn’t slept the night before.

I left at 7:45 PM. The drive took about 40 minutes. When I arrived, I parked and went inside. Her class was doing the Macarena. She was dancing all over the place, clearly having a great time. Of course, she still wanted to come home—to sleep in her own bed—but it didn’t feel like the right thing anymore. Better for her to stay, enjoy time with her friends, and finish the trip as planned.

The trip wasn’t a waste at all. On the drive there and back, I experienced an incredible feat of Austrian engineering: a massive highway tunnel. It was colossal. “So what?” you might say. “It can’t be that impressive. Not like the 2-mile Seattle tunnel or the Boston Big Dig.” Well, sorry—it’s bigger. Nearly a mile longer than either of them. Almost 5 km long. It’s also wider, brighter, and practically flawless. Driving through it at night with no traffic felt surreal—like being inside a video game.

The next day at work, I asked my colleagues about the tunnel. It’s called the Götschka Tunnel and was finished about four years ago. “So what?” they said. Tunnels like this are normal in Austria. The biggest one here is the Arlberg Tunnel—14 km long. That’s like four Big Digs connected end-to-end, all beneath the Alps.

Apparently, there’s a tunnel arms race between Norway, Switzerland, and Austria. Norway is winning. The Lærdal Tunnel, which runs under a huge fjord, is 25 km long. It’s the longest highway tunnel in the world, and the lighting inside looks amazing.

Switzerland is in second place with a 16 km highway tunnel under the St. Gotthard mountains. And under those same mountains is the longest train tunnel in the world—the Gotthard Base Tunnel—58 km long, which is even longer than the Eurotunnel between the U.K. and France.

Zoe comes home this afternoon. I’m sure she’ll give me grief about last night—even if she had a great time.

You should have taken me home!

As any seasoned dad knows, the best way to handle this is to change the subject.

Zoe—did you see that amazing tunnel?

Update: